Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Sooth

I've had a feeling of being unsettled of late. Blame has been lain on clutter due to the move and end-of-school activities. Blame laid within. I've not been meeting my own expectations of wife, mother, and homekeeper. I've been doubting my contribution again. One would think that I would have all those kinks worked out by now. I've been a full-time homemaker for 12 years, going back to work part-time only once during a brief financial crunch.

Sometimes I have a hard time giving myself credit for how far I've come because I am focused on how far I still need to go.

I still need improvements in:
keeping the budget updated
cooking/baking
keeping the house fresh and clean
homeschooling
personal care
being "green"
menu-planning
and as always (until I am judged in grace) to continue to grow closer to Christ.
Recent events (visiting with some especially judgemental family members and planning an elementary school reunion) have brought up some self-assessment. From the outside it is very easy to assume things about me and our choices. But from the inside, I know (and very close friends/family know) just how far I've come.
I have grown. I've gone through a tremendous personality change. I've gone through a spiritual journey and learned some very hard lessons. I've traded my consumer, self-centered, immature nature for a more self-relient, Christ and family centered, introspective life. I've learned to contibute in a different way that surpasses a monetary contribution. It never would've happened in another, more "normal" environment.
I'm not all the way there. I'm not even half-way there yet. But I'm still truckin'.

If I grow as much in the next 15 years as I have in the last, then I'm going to be a pretty amazing 55 year old woman.

I just needed to reassess my value as full-time homemaker. Sometimes it's too easy to believe the American opinion that you are only as good as the money you earn. But always having had a job doesn't automatically make you a respectable person or cause your children to rise up and call you blessed.

Thanks to Little Jenny Wren who posted this on her blog that was a good reminder.

6 comments:

Marci said...

Good post Teresa. Life is a journey. Just keep on journeying!!!

Louise said...

A wonderful, wise post dear one. You are blessed to be where you are in your walk with the Lord. His teaching is worth more than gold. The time we spend at home, in our home, cannot be measured in any financial manner. Who could afford to pay a homemaker for all she does?

Tipper said...

Chin up girl! I've read enough of your writing to know you have it all together. You help provide a beautiful life for your family in every little thing you do-and the good book does say the best witness-is living your life as an example to others. That is what you are doing!

Cat said...

Teresa! This was an awesome post!!! You are such a beautiful example to us all. There are so many many things I so admire about you that I need to learn from.

You, dear Teresa, are just precious!

Lots of these...

xoxoxoxo

Cat

Ladyfromthewoods said...

Thank you, ladies for those wonderful, encouraging comments. You are each dear to me!

Catherine Seiberling Pond said...

Hi Teresa,

I'm catching up with your blog in bits and pieces. You have so much to offer the world, and have already offered so much. I understand these periods of reevaluation, believe me. Am still somewhat in one! And my house...don't even get me started (says she who is contemplating the 10 piles of laundry in the cellar--as I tell my hubby, "out of sight, out of mind"...at least in the doublewide it is always done because it is always staring me in the face in my mud room!).

Lots of love, Catherine