Sometimes I have a hard time giving myself credit for how far I've come because I am focused on how far I still need to go.
I still need improvements in:
keeping the budget updated
keeping the house fresh and clean
and as always (until I am judged in grace) to continue to grow closer to Christ.
Recent events (visiting with some especially judgemental family members and planning an elementary school reunion) have brought up some self-assessment. From the outside it is very easy to assume things about me and our choices. But from the inside, I know (and very close friends/family know) just how far I've come.
I have grown. I've gone through a tremendous personality change. I've gone through a spiritual journey and learned some very hard lessons. I've traded my consumer, self-centered, immature nature for a more self-relient, Christ and family centered, introspective life. I've learned to contibute in a different way that surpasses a monetary contribution. It never would've happened in another, more "normal" environment.
I'm not all the way there. I'm not even half-way there yet. But I'm still truckin'.
If I grow as much in the next 15 years as I have in the last, then I'm going to be a pretty amazing 55 year old woman.
I just needed to reassess my value as full-time homemaker. Sometimes it's too easy to believe the American opinion that you are only as good as the money you earn. But always having had a job doesn't automatically make you a respectable person or cause your children to rise up and call you blessed.